When Love Hurts

Everyone loves a love story where the couple lives happily ever after. Well, most everyone. I shouldn’t assume, should I? Thanks to social media, many have the cover to live a secret life, meaning, on the surface it all appears hunky dory, but in reality, there’s deep pain, hurt, unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness, and relationships on life support. Love isn’t the problem here, the heart of mankind is the issue. We choose to forgive or withhold forgiveness, to love or hate, to bear with others or write them off totally. So, let’s get real here. Sometimes love hurts. Sometimes it means we have to grind through the process of forgiveness, grief, even deep pain. How do you forgive an unfaithful spouse? Or someone who injures your loved ones, or God forbid, takes their life? What about a “friend” who turns on you and hurts you in the deepest way possible? That’s the reality of it all, friends. That’s the real problem. The real problem is our hearts and the fact we often forget that any relationship requires the full, 100% effort of both parties.

While we are commanded to love others, to forgive freely, to make allowance for the faults of others, we are not required to be a doormat for folks to walk on and abuse. Don’t dare mistake the “When Love Hurts” to mean you must tolerate abuse in any relationship. That’s not love, and there’s no excuse for it. Seek help, and get out. But, even when you find a safe solution for exiting an abusive relationship, or dealing with unspeakable pain, forgiveness and love are still the requirement. Use wisdom when rebuilding the trust in your broken relationships. Forgiveness is often mistaken for tolerating the abuse or offense when that is not the case at all. Be free with giving love and forgiveness, but don’t be quick to let your guard down. Don’t allow repeated abuse. You’re a human being, not a human rug or doormat. When love hurts, love harder, love freely, forgive, and establish solid, safe boundaries.

Heavenly Father, Thank You for unending forgiveness, for the strength to love when it is painful, and the wisdom to establish healthy boundaries in relationships. -Amen

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

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